Depression can be defined as feeling sad for weeks or months and not just a day or two. Depression can be accompanied by a huge hole of emptiness inside, lack of energy and no pleasure in things once enjoyed. To be clear, clinical depression is different from normal sadness. Clinical depression interferes with one’s work or school, relationships with others and ability to enjoy life. However, clinical depression is treatable with modern antidepressant medications and goal-orientated psychotherapy.

No two people experience depression the same. Some people may not seem sad while others can be unmotivated to do anything like eat or get dressed. These tasks can become large obstacles in their daily life. When friends and family notice these changes, it is alright to say something.

Show your loved one how you are on their side. Avoid saying asking them, “Why can’t you just get dressed/eat/get out of bed?”

Instead say, “You seem to have trouble getting dressed/getting out of bed/eating. What can I do to help you in this area?”

Never ask what their problem is or invalidate their feelings by telling them they are upset about nothing. Instead express your support by stating, “You seem to be finding this issue a big deal at the moment. How can we solve it together?”

Since many people suffering from depression have lost their ability to recognize their positive attributes, giving plenty of reassurance can also be very helpful.

People with depression can spend a lot of time reflecting on their situation. Give understanding and sympathy by sometimes doing nothing but merely listening. Offer a hug or to hold them for a moment. This also conveys how you are there for them.

Try not to be offended if your loved one asks you to leave them alone. Sometimes, that is the most helpful thing you can do at that moment. It is also important to accept the person where they are and not let it totally consume your life. You too have to take care of yourself. Set healthy boundaries. Know your limits as to how you can commit to helping them while balancing your own needs so you can recharge and look after them the best way possible.

Other things you can ask of your depressed loved one are:

• Can I relive your stress in any way?
• What do you think might help you feel better?
• Is there something I can do for you?

Offer to fix your loved one lunch, tidy up their place, take them out for coffee or a movie. No one thinks twice about doing or offering these things for someone who is going through chemo. Why not go there for a person battling a serious mood disorder? 

The term drug is used to describe all mood-altering substances including alcohol and other sedative-hypnotics, opioids, stimulants and psychedelic drugs.

Thinking and talking about cravings for alcohol and other drugs can make some people crave them more. However, thinking and dreaming about alcohol and other drugs is a natural part of recovery. Learning how to stop these thoughts and turning them into cravings can help prevent a person from resuming use.

Education about substance use is important. Learning how resume of use occurs, how to prevent it and identify signs that lead up to it, people can prevent returning back to using. People, places and things are connected to the use of alcohol or other drugs. Triggers are feelings and experiences tied to people, places and things that are associated with drinking or drug use.

To help identify your triggers, do the following:

• List people with whom you almost always used alcohol and other drugs
• List people with whom you never used alcohol or other drugs
• List places where and activities you regularly used alcohol or other drugs
• List places where and activities you didn’t use alcohol or other drugs
  
  

There are internal, external and sensory triggers. All of these combined usually work together to create a drug craving. Internal triggers are feelings people have before or during drinking or using drugs (angry, lonely, depressed, sad, bored, etc.). External triggers are people, places and things associated with drinking or using drugs (old neighborhood, holidays or people one used to use with). Sensory triggers are related to sight, sound, taste and touch (certain songs, certain foods or drinks).

To help identify internal, external and sensory triggers, do the following:

• Name and describe your internal triggers
• Name and describe your external triggers
• Name and describe your sensory triggers
  
  

The steps in dealing with triggers are identifying, avoiding, interrupting and talking about them. Once you identify what your triggers are, for example, certain high-risk situations or people, start avoiding them. For the triggers that cannot be avoided, interrupt them by keeping yourself occupied, attending a self-help meeting, spend time with clean and sober friends or family, etc. Planning ahead is the key to avoiding falling back into old habits and routines. Lastly, talk about it! Do not keep silent as this could allow your cravings time to build up and potentially lead to resume of use. Talking about triggers in a self-help meeting or therapy session can weaken the power of triggers.

To help deal with triggers, do the following:

• Name 3 strong triggers and 3 ways they can be avoided
• Name 3 unavoidable triggers and 3 ways they can be interrupted
• Name 3 ways to reduce the power of triggers
  
  

There are 4 steps that lead from trigger to resume of use. First is the trigger in itself that goes to work automatically. Second, the trigger turns into a thought. Third, with the continued thought, a craving happens at this point with some physical change (anxious, nervousness, sweaty palms, etc.) Fourth, resuming use after the craving grew and physical changes affect the person, making it easier to decide to use. This process can be occurring in your brain without realizing how powerful it is.

Developing skills and tools in recovery is vital as sobriety is an ongoing process. Therapy and self-help meetings can help you develop a new set of important skills that will help with stopping triggers from leading to relapse.