Depression can be defined as feeling sad for weeks or months and not just a day or two. Depression can be accompanied by a huge hole of emptiness inside, lack of energy and no pleasure in things once enjoyed. To be clear, clinical depression is different from normal sadness. Clinical depression interferes with one’s work or school, relationships with others and ability to enjoy life. However, clinical depression is treatable with modern antidepressant medications and goal-orientated psychotherapy.

No two people experience depression the same. Some people may not seem sad while others can be unmotivated to do anything like eat or get dressed. These tasks can become large obstacles in their daily life. When friends and family notice these changes, it is alright to say something.

Show your loved one how you are on their side. Avoid saying asking them, “Why can’t you just get dressed/eat/get out of bed?”

Instead say, “You seem to have trouble getting dressed/getting out of bed/eating. What can I do to help you in this area?”

Never ask what their problem is or invalidate their feelings by telling them they are upset about nothing. Instead express your support by stating, “You seem to be finding this issue a big deal at the moment. How can we solve it together?”

Since many people suffering from depression have lost their ability to recognize their positive attributes, giving plenty of reassurance can also be very helpful.

People with depression can spend a lot of time reflecting on their situation. Give understanding and sympathy by sometimes doing nothing but merely listening. Offer a hug or to hold them for a moment. This also conveys how you are there for them.

Try not to be offended if your loved one asks you to leave them alone. Sometimes, that is the most helpful thing you can do at that moment. It is also important to accept the person where they are and not let it totally consume your life. You too have to take care of yourself. Set healthy boundaries. Know your limits as to how you can commit to helping them while balancing your own needs so you can recharge and look after them the best way possible.

Other things you can ask of your depressed loved one are:

• Can I relive your stress in any way?
• What do you think might help you feel better?
• Is there something I can do for you?

Offer to fix your loved one lunch, tidy up their place, take them out for coffee or a movie. No one thinks twice about doing or offering these things for someone who is going through chemo. Why not go there for a person battling a serious mood disorder? 

The term drug is used to describe all mood-altering substances including alcohol and other sedative-hypnotics, opioids, stimulants and psychedelic drugs.

Thinking and talking about cravings for alcohol and other drugs can make some people crave them more. However, thinking and dreaming about alcohol and other drugs is a natural part of recovery. Learning how to stop these thoughts and turning them into cravings can help prevent a person from resuming use.

Education about substance use is important. Learning how resume of use occurs, how to prevent it and identify signs that lead up to it, people can prevent returning back to using. People, places and things are connected to the use of alcohol or other drugs. Triggers are feelings and experiences tied to people, places and things that are associated with drinking or drug use.

To help identify your triggers, do the following:

• List people with whom you almost always used alcohol and other drugs
• List people with whom you never used alcohol or other drugs
• List places where and activities you regularly used alcohol or other drugs
• List places where and activities you didn’t use alcohol or other drugs
  
  

There are internal, external and sensory triggers. All of these combined usually work together to create a drug craving. Internal triggers are feelings people have before or during drinking or using drugs (angry, lonely, depressed, sad, bored, etc.). External triggers are people, places and things associated with drinking or using drugs (old neighborhood, holidays or people one used to use with). Sensory triggers are related to sight, sound, taste and touch (certain songs, certain foods or drinks).

To help identify internal, external and sensory triggers, do the following:

• Name and describe your internal triggers
• Name and describe your external triggers
• Name and describe your sensory triggers
  
  

The steps in dealing with triggers are identifying, avoiding, interrupting and talking about them. Once you identify what your triggers are, for example, certain high-risk situations or people, start avoiding them. For the triggers that cannot be avoided, interrupt them by keeping yourself occupied, attending a self-help meeting, spend time with clean and sober friends or family, etc. Planning ahead is the key to avoiding falling back into old habits and routines. Lastly, talk about it! Do not keep silent as this could allow your cravings time to build up and potentially lead to resume of use. Talking about triggers in a self-help meeting or therapy session can weaken the power of triggers.

To help deal with triggers, do the following:

• Name 3 strong triggers and 3 ways they can be avoided
• Name 3 unavoidable triggers and 3 ways they can be interrupted
• Name 3 ways to reduce the power of triggers
  
  

There are 4 steps that lead from trigger to resume of use. First is the trigger in itself that goes to work automatically. Second, the trigger turns into a thought. Third, with the continued thought, a craving happens at this point with some physical change (anxious, nervousness, sweaty palms, etc.) Fourth, resuming use after the craving grew and physical changes affect the person, making it easier to decide to use. This process can be occurring in your brain without realizing how powerful it is.

Developing skills and tools in recovery is vital as sobriety is an ongoing process. Therapy and self-help meetings can help you develop a new set of important skills that will help with stopping triggers from leading to relapse. 

​Deciding you need professional help can be hard on its own. Seeing a therapist does not mean you are weak although being vulnerable in front of a complete stranger can be uncomfortable.

Going to therapy is more than sitting in an office and talking. Therapy includes building a professional relationship with boundaries and goals you want to achieve. The client-therapist relationship is a collaborative relationship. The therapist listens, ask questions and evaluates your needs, barriers and challenges. As well, you listen, ask questions and identify your needs, barriers and challenges. If you cannot identify your needs, barriers or challenges, that's okay! Your therapist has many years of experience and should be able to help you.

Unfortunately, some therapeutic relationships are not balanced. Although finding a therapist that is a right fit for you can be hard, it can be done. Be encouraged! You do not want to stay in any relationship that is not serving you. Be empowered by the fact that you now can use that past experience to your advantage by knowing what to look for in your new therapist.  In addition, keep these 5 things in mind.

1. Your Therapist is Your Friend:  You have friends and then there is your therapist. They serve a different role in your life and it should remain that way. If your therapist just so happens to be a therapist, having them as your therapist is unethical. On another note, avoid attempting to make your therapist your friend out of an emotional and psychological need. The therapeutic relationship will naturally create a bond, but this bond should be a professional one with firm boundaries. Firm boundaries are required in the client-therapist relationship and it does not mean you will not get the support and compassion you need.
   
   
2. Your Therapist is Your Servant: You are an educated partner in your treatment! Rightfully so, you do not have to go along with everything. At the same time, being open-minded and respectful is required since the therapist has been trained and educated to understand things a little better than you. Avoid being arrogant! Be empowered to ask questions, make suggestions and discuss what you want, yet watch for acting as if you have power and control over your therapist.   
   
   
3. Your Therapist Referred You Out Means Rejection: Being referred to another therapist or a higher level of care (detox, hospitalization, residential, etc.) does not mean rejection. Ethical therapist will refer you to a treatment better fitted to your needs, even if they are not able to help you after being with them for years. Therapist can refer you out because of burnout or life changes in either one of your lives. When things are stagnated, progress ends and a referral is healthy. In addition, therapy is a service and payment is required. Avoid taking advantage of someone you may need in your life by not compensating them for their time. It is not personal, inconsiderate or uncaring when your therapist asks about payment or refers you elsewhere when there is a continued challenge with your paying for therapy.
   
   
4. Your Therapy is as Long as You Need: The length of therapy depends on so many factors. For the most part, therapy can be short-term (under 1 year) or long-term depending on the presenting issue. In addition, if you use insurance, they will only pay for short-term therapy with the notion that you will have your problems resolved in a matter of months. So, if you use insurance, your therapy duration is already set for you. If you pay for therapy on your own, ask your therapist how long they believe, based on what you have presented as the issue, therapy would take. Most therapist work with you and provide an estimate of amount of time for how long you will need therapy while others will say they don’t know. The end goal is to help you resolve a problem so you are able to apply the news skills learned in therapy into the real world on your own.
   
   
5. Your Therapy is for You Only: Even if you are coming to therapy alone, your family dynamics and issues are predominant in the counseling process. Family systems are a complex integration of relationship between members. Your decisions may have impacted your family and vice versa. This does not mean your family members have to attend therapy with you. After all, you cannot control what others do. Just keep in mind that if you have challenges, so does the rest of your family in most cases. Whatever you go to therapy for, the multiplicity of these dynamics warrants family exploration so they can be appropriately dealt with to help you heal, change and provide a peace of mind.
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Many people come to therapy with all types of incorrect perceptions and beliefs. There is one correct assumption; therapy is one of many tools used to support and facilitate growth.