We all have experienced stress, anxiety, depression, grief or relationship problems at some point in our lives, right? Many of us have friends or loved ones who are suffering right now and could benefit from therapy. But, how do we tell them to go to therapy?

Telling someone they need therapy can come off very offensive. Therapy itself is still a sensitive issue to talk about. Suggesting to a loved one or friend they need therapy can make them feel as if they are being criticized.

6 Ways to Recommend Therapy:

1. ​Say something sooner than later – try to prevent a larger issue or a full-blown crisis from arising. Avoid minimizing the issue or hoping the problem will go away on its own.
   
   
2. Normalize therapy – you can disclose how you have benefited from therapy. If you haven’t gone to therapy yourself, express empathy by saying something like, “I see how stressed you are with everything going on right now and you deserve real support beyond our conversations. Have you thought about seeing a therapist for help?”
   
   
3. Don’t judge – admitting you need therapy can be hard on its own. Don’t diagnose; leave it to the experts. Say something like, “I notice that you don't seem like yourself. I care about you and think a therapist can help you.”
   
   
4. Be reassuring – let them know therapy does not have to be long term for it to be very effective in resolving their issues. Assure them they can find a compassionate, supportive and objective therapist that will provide the insight and tools to empower them professionally and personally.
   
   
5. Be resourceful – be prepared to share where they can go to find psychiatrists, psychologists or therapists. Psychology Today, many local hospitals and Community Mental Health Centers provide quality and affordable outpatient counseling services, and if they are employed, ask them to check their insurance card or contact HR to inquire about Employee Assistance Program (EAP) benefits. In addition, many schools and Universities offer free or low-cost services. There are also online therapy options such as Open Path for persons from low-income status. Go to openpathcollective.org/ to learn more.
   
   
6. Be supportive – offer to go with them to their first 12 step-program, therapy session or pay for it. If the situation is very serious, consider an intervention or hiring an interventionist. In case of an emergency, always dial 911 or take them to their local emergency room for an evaluation.

 
Don’t let your loved one or friend suffer in silence. Express to them that therapy is not replacing the relationship. If they decide to not go to therapy, you did your part. If the relationship is becoming harmful to you, reevaluate your boundaries with them. You might want to examine if the relationship is worth continuing. We all can benefit from therapy!

Did you have a pen pal as a kid? I loved sitting down, writing and sharing something from my heart, funny or serious. I was able to share my authentic self to someone else in a meaningful way. I remembered how excited I was when my letter arrived in the mail. It was a wonderful experience to hold a letter that someone else took the time and thought to write just for me.

My first pen pal was assigned to me in the 5th grade. She was another 5th grader from Alabama. In the 6th grade, I was assigned my second pen pal from Germany. Both pen pals added so much to my learning because of their cultures as they were different from mines growing up in Illinois.

Writing a letter provides time for us to be ourselves, honest, dream, listen and understanding. It can be hard to embrace ourselves, especially if we’ve been taught that we need to change based on so-called norms in our society and/or culture. Meaningful connections with others have been lost due to our overuse of social media and texting. I love technology and its benefits, but nothing will ever replace the human connection needed within ourselves or from others.

Ways to embrace yourself and connect with others now:

1. Do not wait until you find someone to like or love you - start small by saying one kind thing a day to yourself
2. Do not wait until you lose weight - pick a body part, appreciate it right now and do this at least for a week
3. Share with others, no texting, how you really feel – write a letter to a loved one telling what you love about them and how they support you
4. Give yourself a break – it is okay to rest when you feel exhausted; give yourself permission
5. Avoid criticizing yourself – having a rough week is normal and it is OK if you overate, next time try to turn to something that is more nourishing
6. Tell yourself the truth – how do you want to be treated, what are you not willing to do, what are your needs?
   
   

When we embrace ourselves, we are being kind to ourselves and not judgmental or bashing. When we embrace ourselves, we can see more clearly. This presents a valuable learning opportunity about ourselves, what works and does not work, while identifying a solution to our problems and taking great care of ourselves. If you do not know who you are, now would be the perfect time to be curious instead of angry with yourself. Embracing ourselves can seem like a big, complicated task, but it can be done this minute.

Start now!

There are many things in life we try to control on our own. We try to control what other people do, say and feel about us. Sometimes, we internalize these things. There are also times where we don’t control the things we can. Some days, we just don’t feel like it because it appears as though everything is falling apart in the middle of a life-storm creating a flight or flee response. But even in difficult times, we can get through life-changing events.

As life happens, try to be honest for what’s true for you. Remind yourself, you have power no matter the circumstances that comes your way and with the help of a therapist; you can cultivate a meaningful, fulfilling and compassionate life for yourself. It is empowering to keep in mind that you are not alone.
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Here are 12 ways therapy can be helpful in navigating life.

1. How you talk to yourself – therapy can provide tools on how to use positive self-talk.
2. How you react to others – therapy can help you align your emotions so they do not negatively impact your behaviors.
3. How you structure your time – therapy can help you identify ways you may be spending useless energy and time on things that do not add to your overall, daily productivity and well-being.
4. How to create your space – healthy boundaries in every area of your life are important to avoid emotional, spiritual, physical and mental fatigue.
5. How to ask for help – this can be a struggle for everyone, yet therapy starts the process of learning how to ask for help and from others in your life.
6. How to say yes and no – therapy can help with not feeling guilty for saying “no” or “yes” when you absolutely need and have to.
7. How to take care of you – therapy can provide tools on how to practice meaningful self-care with a lasting impact that can be used time and time again.
8. How to be honest with yourself and others – it can be hard to face yourself and admit certain truths, but therapy provides a safe space for being honest and self-exploration that can be freeing for you and others in your life.
9. How to channel your grief – a therapist can help guide you through the stages of grief in a healthy way.
10. How to manage racing thoughts – therapy can provide a safe space to release those racing thoughts and process in a healing way.
11. How to deal with regrets – therapy can show you how to be mindful, thankful and live in the present while accepting the past as it is – the past.
12. How to have a healthy relationship with your body and food – therapy can help you identify loving ways to treat your body not based on food.

​I encourage you to think of ways therapy can be helpful for you.