5 Things to Keep in Mind Before Seeing a Therapist

​Deciding that you need professional help can be hard on its own. Seeing a therapist does not mean you are weak although being vulnerable in front of a complete stranger can be uncomfortable.

Going to therapy is more than sitting in an office and talking. Therapy includes building a professional, therapeutic relationship with boundaries and goals you want to achieve. The client-therapist relationship is a collaborative relationship. The therapist listens, ask questions and evaluates your needs, barriers and challenges. As well, you listen, ask questions and identify your needs, barriers and challenges. If you cannot identify your needs, barriers or challenges, that's okay! Your therapist has many years of experience and should be able to help you.

Unfortunately, some therapeutic relationships are not balanced. Although finding a therapist that is a right fit for you can be hard, it can be done. Be encouraged! You do not want to stay in any client-therapist relationship that is not serving you. Be empowered by the fact that you can now use that past experience to your advantage by knowing what to look for in your new therapist.  In addition, keep these 5 things in mind:

1. Your Therapist is Not Your Friend:  You have friends and then there is your therapist. They serve a different role in your life and it should remain that way. If your friend just so happens to be a therapist, having them as your therapist is unethical. On another note, avoid attempting to make your therapist your friend out of an emotional and psychological need. The therapeutic relationship will naturally create a bond, but this bond should be a professional one with firm boundaries. Firm boundaries are required in the client-therapist relationship and it does not mean you will not get the support and compassion you need.
   
   
2. Your Therapist is Not Your Servant: You are an educated partner in your treatment! Rightfully so, you do not have to go along with everything. At the same time, being open-minded and respectful is required since the therapist has been trained and educated to understand things a little better than you. Avoid being arrogant! Be empowered to ask questions, make suggestions and discuss what you want, yet watch for acting as if you have power and control over your therapist.   
   
   
3. Your Therapist Referring You Out Does Not Mean Rejection: Being referred to another therapist or a higher level of care (detox, hospitalization, residential, etc.) does not mean rejection. Ethical therapists will refer you to a treatment better fitted to your needs, even if they are not able to help you after being with them for years. Therapists can refer you out because of burnout or life changes in either one of your lives. When things are stagnated, progress ends and a referral is healthy. In addition, therapy is a service and payment is required. Avoid taking advantage of someone you may need in your life by not compensating them for their time. It is not personal, inconsiderate or uncaring when your therapist asks about payment or refers you elsewhere when there is a continued challenge with your paying for therapy.
   
   
4. Your Therapy is as Long as You Need: The length of therapy depends on so many factors. For the most part, therapy can be short-term (under 1 year) or long-term depending on the presenting issue. In addition, if you use insurance, they will only pay for short-term therapy with the notion that you will have your problems resolved in a matter of months. So, if you use insurance, your therapy duration is already set for you. If you pay for therapy on your own, ask your therapist how long they believe, based on what you have presented as the issue, therapy would take. Most therapist work with you and provide an estimate of amount of time for how long you will need therapy while others will say they don’t know. The end goal is to help you resolve a problem so you are able to apply the news skills learned in therapy into the real world on your own.
   
   
5. Your Therapy is for You Only: Even if you are coming to therapy alone, your family dynamics and issues are predominant in the counseling process. Family systems are a complex integration of relationships between members. Your decisions may have impacted your family and vice versa. This does not mean your family members have to attend therapy with you. After all, you cannot control what others do. Just keep in mind that if you have challenges, so does the rest of your family in most cases. Whatever you go to therapy for, the multiplicity of these dynamics warrants family exploration so they can be appropriately dealt with to help you heal, change and provide a peace of mind.
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Many people come to therapy with all types of incorrect perceptions and beliefs. There is one correct assumption; therapy is one of many tools used to support and facilitate growth.

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