10 Ways to Self-Sooth versus Self-Harm

Growing up, you may have discovered ways to make yourself feel better when you had been hurt or felt bad. Some self-soothing ways could have included playing with your dog, favorite doll or toy truck. As an adult, when you felt uncomfortable, upset, anxious or irritated, you may have turned to negative self-soothing techniques to make yourself feel better as quickly as possible. Some of these things included:

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1. Drinking alcohol or using illicit substances - Excessive use of alcohol and illicit substances to self-sooth can lead to an addiction or losing self-control to the point you are being taken advantage. Substance use can also lead to brain damage and death.
   
   
2. Overeating – Eating to self-sooth can cause weight gain, poor body image and poor health.
   
   
3. Self-Cutting – Cutting to self-sooth creates permanent scars, possible infection, pain and embarrassment.

These things may have made you feel better at first, but later worsened your situation. If you are using any of these negative self-harm techniques now, there are safer ways that can work for you.  Try any of these 10 self-soothing techniques to feel better about yourself or any situation.

1. Relaxation exercises – download a relaxation app and listen to relaxing sounds from nature (waterfalls, bird calls, whales, etc.) or take a walk.
   
   
2. Play – find time to play an old-school board game (Monopoly, Clue or Scrabble), charades, hangman, romp around in the grass with a dog or flag football with friends. You can also play tag, hide and seek or blow bubbles.
   
   
3. Be present in the moment – this is known as mindfulness. Try to not focus on the future or the past in order to fully experience the present. For example, engage 3 of your senses by taking a long and close look at a flower, touch and smell it.
   
   
4. Learn – are you interested in learning something new, but never explored it? Look for ways you can make this happen. Or, you may want to look at something in a new way such as reading a poem or scripture to find new meaning in it. Watch a TED talk about something you know nothing about.
   
   
5. Finish the little things – accomplishing even the smallest thing usually helps you feel better. If you have been putting off easy things you have been meaning to do for a while (cleaning out a drawer, dusting a bookcase, sending someone a thank you note). Do it!
   
   
6. Spiritual resources – prayer, meditation or reading affirmations, etc. Whatever feels right to you, try it and keep in mind, spiritual work does not necessarily occur within the bounds of an organized religion.
   
   
7. Be creative – make a sculpture, paint or draw. It does not matter if you have never done any of these things. Shifting your focus on one of these tasks can make you feel better.
   
   
8. Go to any kind of a museum – pick a piece to observe, stare at it and let it spark a story.
   
   
9. Write – journal about 5 things that make you smile or write a 5-line poem about your favorite song, food or a funny memory.
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10. Try a new food – pick a fruit, veggie or dessert you never tried before and do this once a week.

Remember, each day you can help yourself feel better by doing many good things that do not involve cutting, overeating or using alcohol or illicit substances. You are in control of your life. Do something fun, creative, uplifting, interesting and exciting when self-soothing routine. 

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