10 Ways to Handle Criticism

People who are critical of others point out others perceived flaws. Many of us have grown up with painful criticism. Painful criticism can be toxic to anyone’s well-being. Being criticized as an adult can trigger suppressed pain and as a result, one either withdraw themselves or lashes out on others. Either action is counterproductive to one’s well-being.

Sometimes, painful criticism can trigger shame causing one to revert back to the hurt child who could never do anything right. Shame can be an extremely painful emotion. When shame is triggered, some people find ways to not feel such as cutting, overeating, or using illicit substances. Shame can feel very threatening as it dysregulates the nervous system. Practice mindfulness by noticing it, allowing it some space and realizing when it has arisen. Understand that you are not the shame.

You have no control over how others perceive you. You do have control over how you hold and view yourself. Find your inner strength and accept your lovely, unique human flaws. The key to doing this is building mental strength by what you do and don’t do.

1. Say “NO” – One of the best words spoken! Know when to say it and don’t feel shame or guilt about it.
   
   
2. People-Pleasing – Accept someone telling you “no” as it works both ways. Embrace the fact that social rejection is unavoidable. Most importantly, you will live!
   
   
3. Relationships – Cultivate healthy relationships with yourself first. This relationship speaks volumes and sets the tone for how others should treat you. Be in the business of reevaluating your relationships with yourself and others on a regular basis.
   
   
4. Be Kind – Be considerate and helpful without any obligations.
   
   
5. Acceptance – Differentiate what you can and cannot control so you can feel your best, discover new options, opportunities and happiness.
   
   
6. Adaptability – Adapt to change with haste and stay reasonable in challenging or unforeseen situations.
   
   
7. Emotional Acumen – You can effectively resolve your past trauma and grow as a human being because of your ability to recognize what exactly you feel, why and what it means to your existence. Express empathy and compassion for yourself first and others.
   
   
8. Present State of Mind – Live in reality in order to maintain a high level of awareness. Accept the situation as is without compromising your emotions, being stuck in the past or constantly worrying about the future. Use reason, logic, observation and common sense to conceptualize reality.
   
   
9. Being Proactive – When there is a problem, weigh your options and make a practical decision taking in your emotions, thoughts and motives so you can enjoy life even through the ups and downs.
   
   
10. Sense of Self - Know yourself and how to deal with your emotions. Don’t take your emotions out on people or allow people to take theirs out on you.
    
    

Don’t take what people do, feel, think or say personal because you are wonderful regardless of their opinions. As humans, we are all dealing with our own shit – feelings, perceptions and opinions. Other people’s judgments are not superior. They are simply expressing their own subjective standard as it relates to their experiences. You’d be foolish to argue someone’s taste or preferences.

Don’t allow a compliment or criticism to affect you. Instead, trust your own judgment and know what is best for you. You don’t need other’s approval because you know your strengths and limitations so again, accept your perfect imperfections and mistakes. Acknowledge and reward your successes despite anyone’s recognition. People are going to have their own opinions no matter what.

​In the end, yours is the only one that matters!

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