Growing up, the parent-child relationship is the first social relationship we experience. Children who grow up in a household where their feelings are not acknowledged, validated or responded to sufficiently learn their emotions are not valid, unacceptable to others, or don't matter and they must ignore, neutralize, devalue or push away their emotions. The child now knows how to disconnect from their own feelings.
Some children grow up with parents or caretakers that treat them as though they are not lovable. They then develop the idea that they are the problem or something is wrong with them. The truth is that the child received uncaring treatment by an unhappy and/or emotionally limited parent.
As an adult, the feelings of emptiness from childhood become a vital part of ones being. Emptiness can be described as something missing inside of you; a disconnection from yourself and others caused by absence of feeling. Physically, your body could feel as though there is an empty space in your belly, chest or other parts of your body.
As an adult, people who have emptiness often care for others better than they care for themselves. They can put a smile on their face, never giving away their emptiness. Adults that do not feel worthwhile may suffer from depression and lack confidence.
If this resonates with you, please know you can begin to give yourself the emotional attention you did not get as a child. You can begin to accept your own feelings as an expression of your true self without feeling or believing you are weak. Pay attention to what you want and need while using your voice to ask for them.
Take time to practice positive self-talk to eliminate your inner critic. Start showering yourself with self-acceptance and self-love by appreciating the good qualities you have.
Take great care of yourself. This can include forgiving yourself for your past mistakes and eliminating any guilt or shame associated with feeling empty or worthless. Relationships that are toxic, find a way to end them so you can treat yourself with the self-compassion you deserve.
Engage with others in a meaningful way to take a step towards healing your emptiness. Others may feel the same thing, but do not express it, so you could be offering a gift that helps them. Every human being has value.
Work on your inner child to give your adult you a better life. You can heal!
I am a determined, loving, loyal and perceptive therapist that helps professional women of color build their self-confidence to build a career and live a life worth living. I listen quietly and attentively remembering details to tell truths that need to be spoken.